I've been thinking a lot about priorities. Perhaps this is because I am trying to get my priorities in line in my personal life. It seems to me, that we often prioritize things based on our values. For instance, If I say that I want to spend more time with God and entertain a deeper more meaningful relationship with God, yet I always find reasons (excuses) to do other things, at some point, I must question the value of the behavior that I want to change. How do we make God a priority in a world that encourages us to make it all about us? Or is it too late? Have we gone down that slippery slope so far that we can not climb back up to God?
I believe that as individuals, it is never too late, as a society, it will take many of us to turn things around. Possible, yes! Difficult, indeed.

I have been studying the book of Micah quite a bit lately. I suppose part of my fascination with this book is the similarities that can be drawn between Micah's world and our world. Micah, according to Daniel J. Simundson, felt compassion for the poor and dispossessed, and held the leaders responsible for their suffering. Add to this the picture of a society where the rich and powerful used their influence to exploit the vulnerable and to create even greater inequalities of wealth and influence. Sounds quite similar to today.
I think about these similarities and I think about Micah being ostracized from his community and eventually killed, Jesus was killed for his stand against these same things in his day, and now you and I are still faced with these same things. I think about our definition of evil and sin. I think about how I define those things as separation from God. Not that anything is evil because of what it is, but in that it separates us from God. What would our church, our community look like if everyone worked as hard at drawing close to God as they do at separating themselves from God?

I got to spend some time with a very dear friend the other night. They moved out of the area and I haven't gotten to spend any time with him for over a year. My heart lept when I saw him in church last Sunday. I'm not sure I realized how much I missed him. There is really no reason we should be good friends. He is heterosexual, I am not. He is much younger than I. He is helping to raise a family and struggling in a new job, not leaving a lot of time for extra people or things in his life. Yet, we connect. We connect on a level that is different than the "Hi how are you." sort of thing.
It's almost like we connect without words. Scary sometimes, I see my mistakes in him. I see a drive to get things done to the exclusion of family sometimes. I see a person on fire for justice and the love of God, who must feel that sometimes the entire world is going in a different direction. I wonder if God sees us in that same way sometimes. So happy when we take the time to return for that momentary peace. I wonder if God's heart jumps with excitement when we return to look anew at what God might desire for us. I wonder.....

I was talking with a 13 year old the other day about death. She said to me that death is the absence of life. When I asked her to explain that to me. She said something like this.

Life and living are so much more than existing. Lots and lots of people and things exist. They breath in air, eat and drink, do all those things that are considered evidence of life, but they don't really live. They are so busy being who someone else wants them to be, that they don't know who they are. They get so tangled up with what someone else expects and wants that they forget about who they are. It makes me sad that some of my friends will only wear what they think someone else like even if it is itchey or something.

I wonder how many of us are actually walking dead? What would it take for us to actually become alive in our own skins?

One of the lectionary readings for this week, is about Jesus as the good shepherd. A commentary I was reading was talking about how we no longer have a concept of sheep and shepherds, and how people have a hard time relating to this text. As I think about this text, and its meaning that we are only a part of the whole, I have to wonder why this is such a difficult thing to comprehend. Is there a reason that we can't see ourselves as part of a bigger picture?
I think part of what I see day to day, is the intentional desire for people not to want to see themselves as part of something else. More might be required of them. Someone might expect them to behave in ways that are respectful of the whole, or that honor all those that are on the same path.
It is much easier to play a game where it all depends on you, than it is to play a team sport. Team sports require that we work together, that we talk with each other, that we learn how to think about other people being as important as we are. That is difficult for most people in our society to do, without intentionality. My hope is that our faith community will choose to look at that intentionally and move toward an unselfish understanding of the shepherd.

I went to a seminar today on Technology and advancing the Kingdom of God. I should have known by the name of the seminar. However, I really didn't read the post card when it came in the mail because I had spoken with the woman on the phone. They were offering a seminar to help us learn about new technology advances that would help with our ministry needs. Sounds innocent enough.
Arrived at Golden Corral a little early, and as I approached the area we were told to sit in, I realized that almost everyone that was there looked very similar. White, male, middle aged, and stomachs that exceeded their pants. When the speaker began, I knew that I was in trouble. I was most worried when he said that he trained his horses with the same biblical principals to be used when raising children.
As I left, I thanked them for inviting someone from the GLBT community, but that I found their theology to be frightening, offensive, and biblically unsound. His reply to me was priceless: "If we had known you were from that community, we would not have invited you." That is really a response indicitive of Jesus isn't it? YES CHURCH, WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

Responsibility. Seems like something that ought to be so easy to teach. If you say you will, then do. If you create the mess, clean it up. If you hurt some one's feelings, do your best to help heal the wound. If the words you are about to speak are trash about someone else, don't say them. And yet, we don't seem to be able to do this responsibility thing very well. Nearly every day, I talk with someone whose feelings have been hurt or in some cases practically destroyed by another "friend". Somebody was looking at their girl friend or boy friend with "that" look. I don't know about anybody else, but there are some days that I am sure I look at people with some weird look because I have spent several hours in the middle of the night talking to someone who wanted to commit suicide. Or sat with someone who waits for their loved one to take that very last breath.
I find it very interesting that often the people who most want grace, have no grace to give, or better yet, believe that they have the right to dispense grace to whom and at the times that they find appropriate. The more I ponder this idea of responsibility, the happier I am that my God sets no limits on grace, that it abounds freely for all my weakness.

Been reading a new book called Crucial Confrontations. It talks about how to have those tough conversations when someone disappoints you or lets you down. One of the things that the author tries to stress right from the beginning, is that we can't change what other people do, we can only change what we do, and how we react. It is the first book that I have ever read about how to confront people about their behavior that actually says there are times not to confront someone. Several books have suggested this idea, but wow, this opens up new ideas for me. I am very excited to finish this book and to explore the idea of permission to not confront sometimes.

It's Easter. Resurrection Sunday. The day that we in the Christian tradition celebrate as one of the most important days in our church year. But what does it really mean? What kind of difference will it make in our lives after today?
One of the problems with something that we celebrate every year, is the ability to make it meaningful after a while. I suspect that is what fueled the creation of the Easter Bunny. Not only is it a way to keep from focusing on the suffering and ugliness of the pre-resurrection Easter event, but it gives the kids something to focus on.
For me, Easter Sunday reminds me that I am a resurrection person. I need to live in the renewal that occurs every single day by the love that is extended to me by my God who loves me even in my shortcomings. May this resurrection Sunday, be a day of renewal for you and all those that you care about.

OK, here you get the honest truth. I had no idea when I started this blogging thing that people would really read it, and they do. So, during the overflow and getting ready for Easter, I simply ran out of energy. Now, I understand the importance of this communication tool, and promise to do better. The truth is, I love to blog, I just didn't love to do it at 2 and 3 in the morning after everything else.
Be prepared. I love to read and love to write, so you will find out just what I like to read and what that will end up meaning in my life. For those of you who were avid followers of this blog and have been disappointed at the lack of blogging, REJOICE, it is beginning again.
Peace, to all and enjoy your EASTER.